if you’re gonna put music on during sex make sure it’s a live album so people clap for you every five minutes
God is probably a giant bottle of vodka floating in the sky
"There is a kind of crying I hope you have not experienced, and it is not just crying about something terrible that has happened, but a crying for all of the terrible things that have happened, not just to you but to everyone you know and to everyone you don’t know and even the people you don’t want to know, a crying that cannot be diluted by a brave deed or a kind word, but only by someone holding you as your shoulders shake and your tears run down your face."
- Lemony Snicket (via coffeeqveen)
(Source: psych-facts, via coffeeqveen)